Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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