I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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