Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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