I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
