If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i love accidental penises.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
