I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I supernannyed him into submission
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
