I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
