Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
