She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
