dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Four minutes until I can fart!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize