hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
