I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
