I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
