hotel room ftw
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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