is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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