So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
