You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
