I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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