i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
