sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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