Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
