I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize