i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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