so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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