You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Randomize
