PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
love makes seman taste better
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
