I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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