And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
