Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
