i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
