fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
