did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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