friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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