stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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