I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
