I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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