hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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