i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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