all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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