dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
