If that was your dad, he is hot
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
