So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
