return my video game
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
