im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
