so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
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first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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