Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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