He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.