Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
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We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
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Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?