I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
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The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!