i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.