I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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