4 words: hood of his car
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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