Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
