so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
