did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
now i know why i became what i already was.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
