he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
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Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
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We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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