She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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