I saw his package. It spoke to me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
