i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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