Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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