Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
