I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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