I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
