remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just cropdusted the office
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
