if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
