If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
