sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize