I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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