did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
PANTIES FOUND
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