I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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